Wake up. This is a critical step, and its importance cannot be overstated. Failing to wake up before writing a blog article can result in articles such as this one. Waking up should take no longer than an hour. If it does, consider investing in a louder alarm clock.

After you've gotten out of bed, make your way to the kitchen and eat breakfast. Be careful to have a full, balanced meal. A slice of cold pizza and half a pie does not count as either full, nor balanced. Once you've polished off your pie wheatey-O's, consider going out and getting in some early morning* jogging. Chuckle at your own joke as you walk to your computer.

After sitting down at your computer, come up with a great idea. This is the most difficult part of blogging, and shouldn't take you more than a year or two. After a while, you should realize that you don't have great ideas. Resolve to settle for "good" ideas. Repeat this a few times until you settle on "ideas that don't smell too bad.". Pick one, (it really doesn't matter which; they all suck) and you're ready to get started.

While you're thinking up ideas, be careful not to get distracted. Don't go to Digg, Slashdot, Reddit, Shoutwire... Well, except maybe to look at a cool article or two, for inspiration. And there's this funny video of a dancing monkey. Dance, monkey, dance! Haha, that's great. Ooh, and the video links to another video with a banana and peanut butter sandwich. That sounds tasty. I wonder who made peanut butter? I'd better go check Wikipedia to find out. Wow, Wikipedia says that under high pressure and high temperature, peanut butter can be turned into diamonds. I'd better go put my peanut butter in the oven; be right back.

Look at a few more Wikipedia articles.

Notice that you've been on Wikipedia for over 2 hours, and have somehow gone from peanut butter to the complete list of Johnny Depp's awards and nominations.

As I was saying, be careful not to get distracted. Anyway, after you've got your idea down, start writing your story. Pause two sentences in and start to rationalize playing that video game you'd really like to play. Approximately two picoseconds should pass before you start playing your game. Play your game for several hours.

Notice that you've been playing your game for several hours when you should have been working. Close game, open up blog article, write a couple more sentences. Notice that it's 2pm, and you haven't eaten lunch yet. Take lunch break.

After lunch break, get back to work. Namely, level 15 in the video game you were playing. Die Valbraxen scum!

Spend several hours playing video game.

Notice that it's 7pm. Take break for dinner.

Go back to work on your article. Wonder where day has gone. Notice that girlfriend has come home and is making puppy-dog-eyes at you. Take break to watch video with girlfriend. It is now 10pm.

Frantically throw words down on your article. Pause momentarily to do proofreading. Try to catch any majorly misspelled words, but don't sweeat the minorr ones; you audiance wil never notise. After your marathon article writing, paste it up to your blog and breathe a sigh of relief. Notice that it 11:45 pm. Brush your teeth, change into your PJ's, and crawl into bed.

Sleep.

Remember about peanut butter in oven far, far too late.

-Jeff

*"Early morning" meaning "Ten A.M."